Remembering a loved lost one
Small businesses created by loss parents for loss parents and other ways to remember those we love that have gone
It’s been an emotional week. We’re on countdown to baby arriving and I’m feeling very up and down. I’m trying to rest up as I’m extremely tired (thanks to very minimal sleep) and I feel like my body is getting ready for this baby. We had a final scan and saw the consultant the other day, and all is looking good. We’re definitely on the home stretch.
I found myself looking through all the pictures I posted of Rory on Instagram and was smiling and full of tears. I literally sat in tears for a good few hours remembering my little boy. Nearly 15 months on and I just can’t believe Rory died and we’re living this life without him.
My counsellor said the other day not to forget I’m a grieving, expectant mother. When I’m anxious and go to AAU for a check-up I don’t want to be dismissed. This runs deeper than I realised. To a certain extent I felt dismissed in hospital with Rory and more recently with the solicitors who have refused to take on Rory’s case. I fear being dismissed again and something happening to this baby. No wonder I’m on edge a lot of the time. I’m grieving my son and these pregnancy hormones are adding to it.
Last week I felt down in the dumps and kept comparing myself to others. Other expectant friends are chasing after their 2/3 year olds and say they don’t have time to feel pregnant or sorry for themselves. They seem to have it all together, sailing through pregnancy and I feel like I must be doing something wrong. Maybe it’s because I’m feeling sorry for myself too much and I should just be cracking on. But then I try to remind myself we are all effected by pregnancy differently and we’re all dealing with our trials and tribulations. I’m still being sick, am in a lot of pain and my body is actively telling me to slow down and it’s right that I listen to it.
Recently on Insta I asked others to share small businesses and ideas to commemorate little lost ones. I’ve saved it as a highlight and will continue to add to it if I come across any others as there so many lovely businesses out there created by loss parents in memory of their little ones. Also feel free to add a comment below of any you are aware of and then we’ll have a place to refer back to.
Let’s start with small businesses created by loss parents in memory of their little ones:
Little Skyler Homemade:
Instagram:@little.syler.homemade
Creates bracelets to give back to the loss community. To honour lost loved ones in memory of Skyler. She also does a lot of collaborations with her local RMHC.
Order: DM via Insta
Canada based
Erin, a fellow loss mama to Skyler, sent me a bracelet in a pay it forward scheme she does. So someone else had paid for a bracelet to go to a loss mama and went to me. I then did the same and another loss mama got a bracelet too.
Embroidery in the Stars:
Instagram: @embroideryinthestars
Embroidery pieces mad in memory of her little boy Leo which can be as simple or elaborate as you want.
A lovely fellow loss mama sent me one with a green R and its gone up outside the nursery.
Cathers Creates:
Instragram: @catherscreates
Etsy: CathersCreates
Bespoke hand painted candles and paintings of which 20% of every sales goes to UKST and RMHC UK in memory of my son Rory.
This is my little side business and my favourite candles to paint are those in memory of those no longer with us. These can be decorated simply with stars and the loved one’s name or with flowers or favourite things.
Alexandra and Wells
Instagram: @alexandraandwells
Website: See here
An apparel company based in the US who design tops, jumpers and now jewellery as a way to remember our lost babies and children. Often dropped in collections.
Started in memory of Alexandra’s son Wells.
Every year they do a special PAIL (pregnancy and infant loss) release of tops and sweatshirts during October. You can submit your child’s name and it will be printed on the back of said tops/ sweatshirts and is a way of remembering all the little babies and children gone too soon. I have one of these and it is one of my most special items of clothes.
Ever since Esme
Instagram: @eversinceesme
Website: See here
UK based created in memory of their daughter Esme. From sweatshirts to candles, journals and guides.
Packages created by small business:
Don’t buy her flowers collaboration with Teddy’s Wish
Website: see here
Donation made to Teddy’s Wish who support grieving families and fund research into the causes of baby loss.
Not another bunch of flowers – The Bereavement Care Package Gift Box
Website: see here
A lovingly collated package for bereaved parents including ‘Beyond Goodbye’ by Zoe Clarke-Coates.
Box of hugs - Bereavement Gifts
Website: see here
I received one of these as a gift which was so touching. It came with a ‘hug in a mug’, tea, chocolate and some wildflowers to plant.
Other gifts/ mementos for bereaved parents:
It’s worth also saying there are many other gifts you can get for bereaved parents. Touching things can be personalised or just something that will remind them of their child.
· A bracelet with their child’s name on.
· I got a bracelet with a little robin and an ‘R’ on it.
· A special photo with an inscription such as this.
· Chimes for the garden
· A rose bush or a tree in memory of the child.
· A slate for the garden with the child’s name and dates on it.
· A garden feature such as this robin.
· A memory bear or blanket. I’ve heard you can get some with the weight of your baby/ child.
· Homemade care packages
· Or even simply a card which includes pictures of your child and memories written on the back.
Over the past year I’ve received some really touching mementos, cards and packages. All have been touching letting me know Rory is missed and never forgotten. Even now, just receiving a card on a special day such as Rory’s birthday or Mother’s Day have meant the world to me.
Day to day just receiving a text from a friend saying something reminded them of Rory or sharing a memory means the absolute world.
Don’t underestimate the power of a simple gesture and the power of just saying the child’s name to their parent or even saying ‘Rory is really missed’. It means so much.
Remember to add any other ideas or businesses below!